Needy behavior will only attract other needy women. Neediness finds its own level. So if you’re an angry, misogynist who lies to women to get them to sleep with you, the only women who will tolerate your behavior long enough to sleep with you will be angry, distrusting women who lie to get things from men. If you are open and honest about your intentions and genuinely care about the women you meet and interact with, then you will attract genuine and caring women who will be honest with you.
This is referred to as the assortment effect in psychology and it has been demonstrated in numerous studies.
Chances are if you’ve been highly needy in the past, then you’ve engaged in dysfunctional relationships with women who were highly needy in similar or complementary ways. Or, if you’ve been with few or no women, or are unable to attract any women, then chances are you’ve been so needy in your behavior that you’ve remained alone.
If you want to be with amazing women who are open, loving, independent, supportive and nurturing, then you need to become the male equivalent. You need to become an honest, open, and strong man who believes in himself, takes care of himself, and is proud of the amazing life he’s made for himself. Attracting women is not about appearing attractive, it’s about being attractive.
And we haven’t even gotten to the desire part yet.
BRAVERY AND DESIRE
“The biggest aphrodisiac in the world is someone who likes you and isn’t afraid to show it.”
– Me
Yes, I just quoted myself in my own article. I know, I know, that’s pretty self-aggrandizing and probably unnecessary. But it’s my site and it’s a pretty awesome quote, so fuck it, we’ll do it live.
(Note: For what it’s worth, this quote by me was passed around the dating advice industry more than anything else I’ve ever said or written, so I’m not completely making stuff up here. I mean I did write a whole 350-page book on this stuff, so cut me some slack.)
Anyway, where were we? Oh yeah…
If status creates sexual attraction in women, then demonstration of desire creates sexual arousal in women.
Without getting too deep into the research on female arousal (it’s messy and confusing, which shouldn’t surprise you), the leading theory on female arousal is women are turned on by bold behaviors, displays of bravery, and direct sexual desire, particularly when directed at the woman who is getting aroused.
Whether it’s Fabio the Firefighter or the sexy surfer who braves the 20 foot waves in frigid waters or the solider coming home from Nowhere-istan, displays of bravery turn women on more than anything else. If you don’t believe me, go to your local book store and look at the romance novels. Romance novels are basically porn for women, and you’ll find that they all feature warriors, soldiers, bad boys, race car drivers, football players, firefighters, jet pilots, and enter-your-super-sexy-and-dangerous-occupation-here.
And not only are these men racy and exciting, but they’re usually brash and debonair—they say what they want and go after it without apology.