So, your girlfriend throws tantrums? If so, it must be frustrating for you. Here are things you can do to calm her down when she loses control.
As wonderful and lovely as women are, they can occasionally be quite a handful to deal with. Between periods, drama with their friends, stress, and other problems, sure your girlfriend throws tantrums from time to time.
These moments when your girlfriend throws tantrums can involve a lot of crying, passive aggressiveness, and sometimes, even screaming and throwing things with the express purpose of actually hitting you with them.
In most cases, these tantrums are probably harmless and just a passing storm of emotion that will dissolve in a few days or less. However, they can still be extremely difficult to deal with. What guy wants to struggle with so much drama? [Read: 31 must-knows to resolve conflict, cut the drama & handle your emotions]
Tantrums in Relationships
It’s pretty normal to see a kid throwing a tantrum – you know, the classic supermarket meltdown. But what happens when it’s not a kid, but your adult girlfriend showing these bursts of temper?
Yeah, we’re talking about those moments when your girlfriend throws tantrums, and it feels like you’re dealing with something straight out of a toddler’s playbook. Let’s break this down and understand what’s really going on.
When we talk about tantrums in adult relationships, we’re not just referring to someone being a bit moody or having a bad day. [Read: Drama queen diva – 43 signs she’s one, causes, and must-know tips to date her]
A tantrum, in this context, is when your girlfriend has an intense emotional reaction, often disproportionate to the trigger. It’s like those moments where something small goes wrong, and suddenly, it’s World War III in your living room.
So, what’s the deal from a psychological standpoint? A lot of times, these female temper tantrums aren’t just about the surface issue.
They’re like the tip of an emotional iceberg. [Read: Attention-seeker – 25 signs, behavior, and psychology of drama-loving people]
There’s often a bunch of stuff beneath the surface – stress, frustration, maybe feeling undervalued or not heard. These feelings can build up over time, and a small trigger can unleash a wave of pent-up emotions.
It’s kind of like when your phone keeps glitching because too many apps are running in the background. The phone *or in this case, your girlfriend* doesn’t need a huge problem to flip out; it’s the accumulation of lots of little things that sets off the meltdown.
It’s crucial to differentiate between normal emotional reactions and unhealthy tantrums. Everyone gets upset or frustrated, and it’s totally normal for your girlfriend to express her feelings. [Read: How to recognize emotionally unstable people for less drama in life]
But there’s a line. If her reactions are consistently over-the-top, disruptive, or even manipulative, that’s when it enters tantrum territory.
These female temper tantrums can be a red flag, signaling deeper issues in the relationship or within her personal emotional landscape. Maybe it’s about communication breakdowns, or perhaps there are unresolved personal issues at play.
It’s not just about her getting mad that you forgot to take out the trash; it’s what that forgotten trash symbolizes. [Read: 31 must-knows to resolve conflict, cut the drama & handle your emotions]
Reasons Your Girlfriend Throws Tantrums
Before we dive into the how-tos of managing those fiery moments, it’s pretty crucial to understand the whys behind them.
Why does your girlfriend throw tantrums? Let’s unpack some common reasons behind these emotional outbursts. Knowing what’s at the heart of these female temper tantrums can be a game-changer in your relationship.
1. Unmet Emotional Needs
Think about it – if your girlfriend feels like she’s being ignored or misunderstood, it’s like a pressure cooker situation. [Read: Am I emotionally unavailable? 32 signs you are and the fastest ways to fix it]
She’s got all these unaddressed feelings simmering inside, and eventually, they’re going to boil over. It’s not just about being needy; it’s about needing that emotional connection and understanding.
2. Stress and External Pressures
Life throws curveballs, right? Your girlfriend might be juggling a ton of stress from work, family drama, or personal challenges. These external pressures can pile up, making her more prone to losing her cool over the small stuff in your relationship.
3. Communication Breakdown
Ever played that game where the message gets all twisted by the time it reaches the last person? [Read: Communication techniques to finally get them to open up to you]
Poor communication in a relationship is kind of like that. Misunderstandings and assumptions can lead to frustration and, you guessed it, tantrums.
4. Personality Traits
Some people are just more fiery by nature. If your girlfriend has a passionate personality, her emotional reactions, including tantrums, might be part of how she’s wired. It’s like dealing with a human firework – beautiful but unpredictable, and could be quite scary!
5. Control Issues
Sometimes, tantrums are about control. This aligns with psychological theories like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy *CBT*, which suggest that our behavior is often a response to our thoughts and beliefs. [Read: Controlling girlfriend – why women get bossy, 38 signs, and ways to deal with her]
If your girlfriend feels like she’s losing grip on some aspect of her life or the relationship, a tantrum might be her subconscious way of trying to regain control. It’s a behavioral response triggered by her perception of losing power or autonomy.
According to Transactional Analysis, another psychological theory, this could be seen as a manifestation of the ‘Child’ ego state, where emotional responses are governed by a desire for attention or control, reflecting a deeper need for security and stability.
6. Past Experiences
Our past shapes us, no doubt about it. If your girlfriend has had rough experiences in past relationships or during her upbringing, these can influence how she reacts now. [Read: Trauma bonding in relationships – 35 signs and secrets to unmask and escape]
Old wounds can make current situations more explosive.
7. Mental Health Considerations
It’s a touchy subject but important. Sometimes, tantrums are more than just emotional reactions; they can be symptoms of underlying mental health issues.
For instance, frequent and intense outbursts might be linked to anxiety disorders, where the individual feels an overwhelming sense of worry or fear that can manifest in explosive ways. [Read: Loving someone with depression – why it’s not your job to fix them]
Depression is another possibility. It’s not always about feeling sad; it can also come out as irritability or anger, which might be misinterpreted as tantrums.
According to psychological models like the Diathesis-Stress Model, these behaviors could be the result of both a predisposition to mental health issues and external stressors.
This model suggests that while someone might have a certain vulnerability to mental health problems, stressors in their environment, like relationship conflicts, can trigger these underlying issues. [Read: Are relationship fights normal? 15 signs you’re fighting too often]
8. Feeling Undervalued
Everyone wants to feel appreciated. If your girlfriend feels taken for granted, those feelings of being undervalued can lead to resentment. And when resentment builds up, it’s like a volcano waiting to erupt.
9. Fear of Abandonment
This is a biggie. If your girlfriend has fears of being left or abandoned, even small things can trigger a big reaction. It’s her emotional defense system kicking into overdrive.
10. Unresolved Personal Issues
Your girlfriend might have personal battles you’re not fully aware of. These can be like invisible tripwires, and when triggered, they lead to those explosive tantrums. [Read: Attention whore – what it is, 23 signs and secrets to handle an attention seeker]
How to Handle Your Girl’s Dramatic Outbursts
So guys, if you are looking to find some ways to help you get through your girlfriend’s epic temper tantrums, this article is for you. Here are some great tips that can help you weather the storm!
1. Go for a Walk
Your girlfriend can’t argue with you if you aren’t there. So if you find that things are too heated and you just need to stop it as soon as possible, just get out of your apartment, or wherever you are, and go for a walk.
Going for a walk will help you clear your head, and it will create some much need space between you and your girlfriend. [Read: 12 Benefits of exercise on your mind, body, and libido]
It will also help you get rid of some of the stress as both exercise and staying away from the cause of your stress are sure to help you calm down. Your girlfriend will probably also calm down during this time.
2. Try to Find a Way to Communicate Effectively
Sometimes, if your girl is throwing a temper tantrum, it could be because she feels like she isn’t being heard, or she feels like she isn’t getting adequate space to express herself.
One strategy that you could try is to just give her some time to speak about everything that is on her mind without you saying anything. [Read: 42 Secrets to communicate better in a relationship and ways to fix a lack of it]
If you can give her the time to just get it all out, you may be surprised at how effective this can be for avoiding a future rampage.
3. Listen to Music
Listening to music is another great way to help you get through these temper tantrums. If you can find a song that expresses pretty much exactly what you are feeling, listening to it can help you process the feeling and get through it.
Perhaps your girlfriend can try listening to some music to manage the bubbling rage she has within her. [Read: 40 Fun and upbeat songs to groove you out of that funk]
Maybe if she listens to “Ride the Lightning” by Metallica, it will help her get all of her rage out of her system. On the flip side, a calming tune like some soft jazz can also help her calm her nerves.
4. Distract Yourself with TV
If you have been arguing with your girlfriend all day because she is throwing a temper tantrum, taking a break to watch some TV can help calm things down.
Who knows, maybe after a few episode of “House of Cards” on Netflix, you will forget why your girlfriend was arguing with you in the first place. #Winning. [Read: Netflix and chill – 15 sexiest movies on Netflix for a good turn on]
However, note that this is just a momentary distraction. You’ll still have to deal with the root of the problem after your show is over.
5. Go Out for a Drink with Your Friends
Letting the steam out is always better than keeping it all bottled up. When you go out with your friends, you’ll be able to express yourself to people who will understand and support you.
Not only will this help you relax, but you might even get some tidbits of advice from your friends on how to handle this delicate situation. [Read: 16 Types of friendships, benefits and how many you need to be happy in life]
Do keep in mind that you should only do this if going out with your friends is NOT the reason your girl is on a roaring rampage. Otherwise, you’ll just give her more ammunition.
6. Get Some Space from Your Girlfriend
If you don’t live with your girlfriend, avoid seeing her in person until you resolve the issue. You don’t want things to escalate, so only see her if you are trying to resolve the issue, or if you have to see her.
Otherwise, there is a good chance you can just get sucked right back into the drama. If you are living with her, it may be a good time to go sleep on your friend’s couch for a few days. [Read: How to give your girlfriend space, what it means, and 29 signs she needs it]
This allows you to handle your own respective issues on your own. Since you’re not in your girl’s immediate sight to take out her frustrations on, she may find her own way of handling the reason behind her tantrums.
7. Ask Some of Her Friends to Talk to Her
This is exactly why befriending your girlfriend’s friends comes in handy. Talk to one of her closest friends and ask for some advice on what you can do to help her calm down.
There may be some issues that your girlfriend hasn’t mentioned to you, so her friend may have more insight into the situation. [Read: 21 Things you should never say to a woman]
Once you’ve done this, ask the friend to talk to your girlfriend on your behalf. If the very image of you incites rage in your girlfriend, having a neutral person involved may be a good idea.
8. Get Her Some Chocolates
Chocolate seems to have superpowers when it comes to making women happy. If nothing else is working, try giving her some chocolate.
Side note, you may also want to just keep some around the house. It can be good when random tantrums appear. [Read: Men vs. women: 44 psychological ways guys & girls think & behave differently]
9. Get Her Some Ice Cream
Ice cream is another magical food that can work wonders when it comes to quelling female temper tantrums. If you suspect that a tantrum is coming, stocking your freezer with a few pints of Ben and Jerry’s may be a lifesaver.
If it doesn’t help her, then you can just eat the rest. It’s amazing and will probably make you feel better anyway. [Read: 30 things to do to comfort a girl on her period & things to never say]
In the end, too much drama can take its toll on you. In these situations, you may just have to accept that you can’t change her, and move on.
If this is the case, don’t worry. Once you have gone through the breakup, you can always whip out Tinder and start browsing girls who seem more easygoing. [Read: 9 Signs to know if you’re dating a girl worth keeping]
10. Practice Deep Breathing Together
When the tension’s high, deep breathing can be a game-changer. Propose a time-out where both of you engage in some deep breathing exercises. It’s not just about calming her down; it’s about resetting the emotional atmosphere between you two.
11. Create a ‘Tantrum Code Word’
Sometimes, humor can defuse a tense situation. Come up with a funny, non-offensive code word that either of you can use when things are getting heated.
This light-hearted approach can provide a moment of levity and signal that things are escalating without pointing fingers. [Read: 37 rules to be a good partner in a relationship & better your love life]
12. Engage in Physical Activity Together
Suggest doing something physically active, like a brisk walk or a bike ride. Physical activity can help burn off some of that emotional energy. It’s a healthy way to redirect the tension and can often lead to more calm and constructive conversations afterward.
13. Use Positive Reinforcement
When she handles a situation calmly, make sure to acknowledge it. Positive reinforcement can encourage more constructive behavior in the future. It’s like giving a high-five for emotional maturity – it feels good and reinforces good habits.
14. Set Up a ‘Cool-Off’ Corner
Designate a space in your home as a ‘cool-off’ corner. It’s kind of like how some parents have a time-out spot for their kids when they act up. The idea here is similar, but for adults. [Read: 22 Secrets to stop being so angry, calm your mind, and stop hurting yourself]
When things get too heated in your relationship, either you or your girlfriend can head to this space to decompress.
This isn’t about punishing anyone; it’s about creating a peaceful spot where either of you can take a breather, collect your thoughts, and cool down before the situation escalates.
15. Offer a Relaxing Activity
Sometimes, what a girl needs is just a bit of TLC to switch gears from high stress to high relaxation. Suggest a relaxing activity like a bath, a massage, or even a yoga session. [Read: Alone time – why you need it, how it helps, and how to make the most of it]
These activities aren’t just about chilling out; they’re about helping her shift her focus from the heat of the moment to self-care. It’s a gentle reminder that amidst the chaos of life *and the relationship*, there’s space for tranquility and rejuvenation.
16. Keep a Humor Journal Together
Imagine how hilarious it would be to read back that she once went ballistic because you forgot to replace the toilet paper roll – now that’s a story for the grandkids!
Start a journal where both of you can write down funny or absurd things about your arguments. [Read: 33 Best hobbies for couples to have fun, bond, and feel closer than ever]
Looking back at these entries can provide perspective and a good laugh. It turns those heated arguments into memories you can both chuckle over.
17. Encourage Journaling or Writing
Alternatively, suggest that she writes down her feelings when she’s upset. Writing can be a therapeutic way for her to express and analyze her emotions. It’s a safe space for her to vent without fear of judgment or escalation.
18. Plan a Distraction Activity
Sometimes, the best way to handle a tantrum is to change the scenery. Plan a surprise outing or activity that can distract both of you from the conflict. It’s like pressing the reset button on the mood. [Read: 65 Couples activities and fun things to do that’ll make you feel closer than ever]
Dive into finding a shared hobby that resonates with both of you, tapping into things she enjoys, be it painting, hiking, cooking, or something entirely new. Engaging in a mutual hobby can strengthen your bond and provide a positive outlet for both of you.
It’s a chance to see each other in a different light, to grow together, and to build a reservoir of happy experiences. Plus, it’s a great way to learn something new or deepen an existing passion, making your relationship richer and more vibrant.
19. Break Up with Her
If the tantrums are coming too fast and thick, you may just have to break up with her. A man can only handle so much. At some point, you might just have to say that enough is enough. [Read: Should I break up with my girlfriend? When, why, and 43 signs to do it right]
Despite your efforts to solve whatever’s bothering her, there may be an anger issue that you can’t solve on your own. Do yourself a favor and call it quits.
When to Seek Professional Help
Occasional tantrums might be cute in a quirky rom-com, but in real life, they can be a sign that something’s off. When your girlfriend’s tantrums start feeling like a regular episode of a drama series, it’s time to consider bringing in the pros.
First off, it’s key to spot the signs that suggest professional help might be needed. If her tantrums are becoming frequent, more intense, or are starting to impact your relationship’s health, that’s a red flag. [Read: Relationship therapy – 25 clues to know if it’ll help your romance]
Then there’s the nature of these outbursts. If they’re packed with aggressive behavior, threats, or anything that remotely feels unsafe, that’s a serious sign. It’s not just about managing tantrums anymore, it’s about ensuring both of your well-being.
Professional intervention can come in a couple of flavors – couple’s therapy and individual counseling.
Couple’s therapy isn’t just for fixing things; it’s also about understanding and improving. It’s like having a relationship coach who helps you play better as a team. [Read: Tired of your relationship? 30 relationship burnout signs and quick fixes]
Individual counseling for her *or even you* can also be a game-changer. Sometimes, the roots of these tantrums are deeply personal and need to be addressed one-on-one. A therapist can help her unpack her feelings and learn healthier ways to express them.
So, if your girlfriend throws tantrums more often than she throws parties, and if these female temper tantrums are becoming a main feature of your relationship, it might be time to bring in the experts. [Read: Relationship stress – how it feels, 38 signs, and best ways to fix it as a couple]
Tackle the Problem Together
Dealing with female temper tantrums can be extremely frustrating, no doubt about it. Sometimes, these tantrums spring from something that might seem petty or irrelevant.
But other times, they’re rooted in deeper, more serious issues. Whether it’s stress, unmet emotional needs, or something more complex, understanding the cause is key to finding the right solution.
[Read: Uncertainty in a relationship – what it feels like, causes, and 32 ways to fix it]
When your girlfriend throws tantrums, it’s not just a challenge for her, it’s a challenge for the relationship as a whole. Remember, it’s all about tackling the problem together and finding a path that leads to a stronger, more understanding partnership.
The post 29 Reasons & Ways to Handle When Your Girlfriend Throws Tantrums is the original content of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.